Around 75% of women will experience sexual pain in their lives. Men can suffer it too. But what happens when this pain becomes chronic? A personal essay + important facts and resources.
Bravely told, congratulations on getting this piece out there (again, revised!) into the world - I just know it will help others. I, for one, learned a lot here. Thank goodness you were able to voice your discomfort and had a competent and caring doctor able to help you.
I’m so grateful to you, doc. It takes a lot of guts to put something like this out to the world, but it breaks the shame cycle and that is so necessary! I’ll share this in my next roundup.
Mariana, you’ve addressed a delicate topic with such openness, honesty, and clarity. I know that so many people will feel seen and validated because of it! Brava. ❤️
This is fantastic, Humaira. There's so much you can do to help women with pelvic floor issues from the physiotherapy perspective. Even men can present pelvic floor problems too. 😊
I don't view myself as a sexual person. I think of myself as someone that's barred myself from every experiencing intimacy because of my self-hatred and emotional dependence on pornography. I imagine a lot of men feel similarly. Thanks for being brave enough to share your story. It was very insightful.
This is so powerful and real and I am so grateful for your ability to put into words what you experienced, what so many women experience. I know another young woman who has this (diagnosed by an obgyn) and it’s so important for women to hear from others of how sexuality and being in our bodies can be fraught in a world that wants to control those same bodies. Thank you so so much for writing and sharing this, brava! And I am so glad that you found people who listened and found a way to be pain free. 💜
Freya thank you!!! This is so important. These topics and issues make you feel so insecure overtime, and it's vital to spread the message so others don't suffer alone. It's already a very lonely road, so if there's anything we can do to help and improve it, then I'm up for it.
Sometimes I think back and I don't know how it happened: opening up about it, getting help and eventually getting the physical problem fixed. It was not that long ago but information-wise, it feels like eons ago. There was no where to search for info, forums, studies. It was all in the books, and doctors wouldn't mention it. It was a very blind spot. I think I had angels somehow showing up and giving me signs here and there. I'm so grateful for it all because it really changed me.
I'm really glad your friend got diagnosed! I'm sure she's been on a journey, and has been also transformed. ❤️
You expressed this important topic with such clarity and honesty. It's crucial for people to be educated about this. Shoutout to you for addressing it so well!
Thank you, Dr. Mariana, for approaching this very sensitive and important topic so openly and honestly. I'm sure many people will benefit from reading this and from accessing the resources you have included.
This was so affecting and I too am grateful you are sharing your story! I struggled with vaginismus when I was younger. I was so so afraid of pain during sex that I couldn’t ever have it! When I tried to get help, my university doctor told me to just relax, and it further made me think I was the problem. If I didn’t feel anxious, if I could just relax and control my brain, then I’d be fine. I blamed myself and tried to fix the problem itself. Eventually I did get to pain free intercourse physically, but the fear didn’t then go away. I still had anxiety that what if this time it didn’t work and hurt again? Getting to the root, that fear and anxiety you touched on, was and is the solution for me. But it took a really long time to understand that. And I felt so much shame and confusion in what could have been such a fun and nice time. Thank you again for sharing. Though we had different experiences and causes, I resonated with so much of what you said and seeing this words out there chips away that shame that had hold of me.
Jamie hi! And wow...I felt every single word of yours too. The mind is everything, how powerful and so true. I still have glimpses of that fearful past in my mind at times. It has been a very long work in progress but as you said, it works. Healing the emotional scar is vital. Thank you too so much for sharing and for being here!!! Means a lot. ❤️
Bravely told, congratulations on getting this piece out there (again, revised!) into the world - I just know it will help others. I, for one, learned a lot here. Thank goodness you were able to voice your discomfort and had a competent and caring doctor able to help you.
Thank you, Diana!! This has been a biggie for me indeed. I'd really hope for this one to travel far and help as many as possible.
I’m so grateful to you, doc. It takes a lot of guts to put something like this out to the world, but it breaks the shame cycle and that is so necessary! I’ll share this in my next roundup.
Thank you Amy! Means a lot. This is a very important topic, most definitely. And it matters so much if it helps us all rise up together.
Oh, and so many great links and resources here. Thanks again!!
My pleasure! 🙏🏻🙌🏻
Mariana, you’ve addressed a delicate topic with such openness, honesty, and clarity. I know that so many people will feel seen and validated because of it! Brava. ❤️
Thank you, Maddie! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
This topic .... You are very brevly girl and story.such a you are sher this topic.every woman ready this topic..
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Thank you, Humaira, it is indeed a very important topic!
Yes ma'am of course every girl neology this topic
Ma'am I am salute you ❤️
,🙏🏻😊
I am a Dr I m physio therapy it's
This is fantastic, Humaira. There's so much you can do to help women with pelvic floor issues from the physiotherapy perspective. Even men can present pelvic floor problems too. 😊
I don't view myself as a sexual person. I think of myself as someone that's barred myself from every experiencing intimacy because of my self-hatred and emotional dependence on pornography. I imagine a lot of men feel similarly. Thanks for being brave enough to share your story. It was very insightful.
Thank you! And you’re brave for sharing too. I’m glad it felt insightful and useful.
This is so powerful and real and I am so grateful for your ability to put into words what you experienced, what so many women experience. I know another young woman who has this (diagnosed by an obgyn) and it’s so important for women to hear from others of how sexuality and being in our bodies can be fraught in a world that wants to control those same bodies. Thank you so so much for writing and sharing this, brava! And I am so glad that you found people who listened and found a way to be pain free. 💜
Freya thank you!!! This is so important. These topics and issues make you feel so insecure overtime, and it's vital to spread the message so others don't suffer alone. It's already a very lonely road, so if there's anything we can do to help and improve it, then I'm up for it.
Sometimes I think back and I don't know how it happened: opening up about it, getting help and eventually getting the physical problem fixed. It was not that long ago but information-wise, it feels like eons ago. There was no where to search for info, forums, studies. It was all in the books, and doctors wouldn't mention it. It was a very blind spot. I think I had angels somehow showing up and giving me signs here and there. I'm so grateful for it all because it really changed me.
I'm really glad your friend got diagnosed! I'm sure she's been on a journey, and has been also transformed. ❤️
You expressed this important topic with such clarity and honesty. It's crucial for people to be educated about this. Shoutout to you for addressing it so well!
Thank you so much, Neha! Means a lot. Happy to have you here. 😊🙏🏻
Same 😊🙏
Thank you, Dr. Mariana, for approaching this very sensitive and important topic so openly and honestly. I'm sure many people will benefit from reading this and from accessing the resources you have included.
Thank you so much, Louise! Your support means everything. Thanks for reading always and for being here. 😊
This was so affecting and I too am grateful you are sharing your story! I struggled with vaginismus when I was younger. I was so so afraid of pain during sex that I couldn’t ever have it! When I tried to get help, my university doctor told me to just relax, and it further made me think I was the problem. If I didn’t feel anxious, if I could just relax and control my brain, then I’d be fine. I blamed myself and tried to fix the problem itself. Eventually I did get to pain free intercourse physically, but the fear didn’t then go away. I still had anxiety that what if this time it didn’t work and hurt again? Getting to the root, that fear and anxiety you touched on, was and is the solution for me. But it took a really long time to understand that. And I felt so much shame and confusion in what could have been such a fun and nice time. Thank you again for sharing. Though we had different experiences and causes, I resonated with so much of what you said and seeing this words out there chips away that shame that had hold of me.
Jamie hi! And wow...I felt every single word of yours too. The mind is everything, how powerful and so true. I still have glimpses of that fearful past in my mind at times. It has been a very long work in progress but as you said, it works. Healing the emotional scar is vital. Thank you too so much for sharing and for being here!!! Means a lot. ❤️